Sibling Rivalry

24 Apr

My brother was home this weekend for Easter. It’s always strange to have him home because I’m so used to life without him here. I guess that’s how he felt when I was away at school, and now our roles are reversed. It’s very much one of those “out of sight out of mind” things.

He was in kind of a funny mood while home, because he and his girlfriend recently broke up. I have no idea why, or when, and I don’t think I’ll ever get answers to those questions. He’s very private about his life; he barely shares anything with us at all. He’s always been that way, so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. I tried to talk to him a little bit about it, but he didn’t say much. Granted, my timing was a little off, but there wasn’t ever really a good time to talk about it the whole weekend.

It really upsets me that he won’t talk to me about things. I know he’s a guy and they’re far less likely to be in a talkative mood, but you’d think that coming home to see your family just after a breakup, you’d at least mention it? I mean, he didn’t even tell me it had happened; my mom did that. I don’t feel very close to him at all, and don’t always feel like he supports me. It’s very different, having a brother. Almost all my really close friends have sisters, with just one exception. They’re all really close – they have that special bond that only forms between sisters. I don’t know what that’s like at all. I don’t know how to be close to a sibling. When we were younger, we fought sometimes, but not an unhealthy amount. We just didn’t have much in common, or have the same friends. We’re three and a half years apart, which is just enough time to keep us at different schools the majority of our lives, and into very different things at different stages. I wish I’d grown up closer to my brother. I basically grew up without cousins, and sometimes I feel like I’m an only child.

It’s a tough thing, to feel like you’re not close with your sibling. I see all the great relationships my friends have with their siblings, and I’m jealous of that. Granted, they’re all sisters, which is an entirely different relationship. I have no idea what that feels like, and I wish I did. I’m not saying that I wish my brother was actually a sister, but it would be nice to feel like you’re best friends with your siblings. Right now, I feel like an only child. I live here with my parents alone, I barely talk to my brother at all, and he’s so private that he’s like a complete mystery to me. I hope that as we get older we can be closer and be better friends.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: