Ten Things Tuesday – April 12

12 Apr

Ten of the biggest BAMFs ever:

1. Lady Godiva. Somehow I don’t think Lady Gaga can quite live up to the badass-ness of riding your horse naked through the streets of England in the Middle Ages. And a noblewoman, no less. That took some balls.

2. Neville Longbottom. Because he is worth twenty Malfoys. Besides that, he leads the rebellion of remaining Hogwarts students in Deathly Hallows, going so far as to flat-out camp out in the Room of Requirement.

3. Anthony Bourdain. Badass in that snarky way. Sure, he comes off as being a pretentious chef sometimes, but he’s really just a well-read punk fan. He would be able to talk me into doing illegal things faster than anyone.

4. Han Solo. I don’t know anyone else who can reply, “I know” to someone’s declaration of love and not get slapped in the face. He also survived that cryogenic freezing mess.

5. Queen Elizabeth I. The mere fact that she became queen despite a father so hell-bent on having a son that he had his wives locked up or murdered (not to mention the invention of a new church just so he could get divorced) is pretty impressive. She also managed to defeat that pesky Spanish Armada and rule for 40 years without a husband. I give a close second in the monarch category to Eleanor of Aquitane.

6. Genghis Khan. He conquered more land than Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Adolph Hitler. Combined.

7. My friend Melody. You’ll just have to take my word on that. Being a full-time BAMF and the craziest person alive is such a winning combination, for all the wrong reasons.

8. Jesus. Yeah, I like to think Jesus was a badass. I mean, he started a pretty big worldwide movement, right? I like to think of Jesus as the hippie, free loving version of badass. Like, not blatanly so – more subtle.

9. Boudica. When her husband died and left his kingdom to his daughters, the Romans did more than slap them on the wrists. Boudica didn’t take kindly to this and started a revolt against the Roman legions, causing the deaths of 70,000 people. This revolt caused emperor Nero (you know, the one who fiddled), to sweat out his control of the Welsh territories. Rather than be captured, Boudica committed suicide (not a route I’d recommend). It helps to have a badass name, too.

10. Sayid Jarrah. Um, the guy was an “interrogator” for the Republican Guard. In Iraq. Yeah, OK, it was on a fictional TV show, but I still wouldn’t mess with him. Would you?

Remember, kids: the sun never sets on a badass.

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