So Long Sweet Summer

7 Jun

The thing about being an adult is, when you get to be one, you don’t have a summer anymore. It just doesn’t exist; all that remains are the nostalgic memories of being bored and laying around on the couch, going to the pool, taking roadtrips and everything else you could get away with when you were young. It’s just gone. Sure, there’s still vacation, but even that isn’t the same. It’s much more of a hassle, because you’re working and have to deal with how many vacation days you’ve taken vs. sick days, if you can really afford to leave your job undone for a few days. I mean, they’ll survive without you, just like they did before you were there. You are replaceable, after all. But eventually you get to this point where you can’t abandon work, and that starts the downward spiral into workaholism and burnout.

Don’t get me wrong – I do love my job. I’m just really feeling the pressure of it this week. I’ve spent the last seven straight days working, and it’s getting tedious. I’m very busy this week – I don’t really have time to be bored. In fact, I just feel like I don’t have time for anything but that, and definitely not to be myself. Or have anything remotely close to a social life.

Summer is supposed to be a break from normal life – a time to just relax and get away from everything that stresses you out about work, school, winter, and responsibility. I don’t have the luxury of living out at the beach for the summer, partying all the time and tanning all day. Not that that kind of life woud be fully satisfying anyway, but it would be nice to try it just once.

I’ve always had so much balance in my life, knowing how to work and play without overdoing it. But now, it’s all work and no play. I mean, work is fun. But it doesn’t replace meaningful relationships and fun in your life. Work will always be there, but the people you love won’t. If you let them, they will leave you. I know this firsthand.

The weather is hot outside, making me lazy. All the smutty summer TV shows are on now, and everything is moving at a slower pace. I need a summer vacation. But now that I’m old enough to be out of school, I might never get one again. It’s a little depressing to think about it like that. I’ll eventually go back to school, and will have a semi-summer then. But grad school is different – not like undergrad summer where you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. Nothing about my life will ever be the same. How do people navigate the adult world? Sometimes I like it, but other times I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing.

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