18 Feb

At the end of yoga every week, our instructor always reads from some devotional book or inspirational book – I can’t really tell what it is, because we’re lying down for deep relaxation with our eyes closed. Anyway, there’s always some sort of good thought that we leave with. The other day it was about change, something I constantly struggle with and can never get used to, even though it’s happening around me all the time.

If I had to pick any theme for my life, I guess Change would be a good one. I don’t welcome it with open arms, but I’ve had to get used to the fact that it’s here to stay. I’ve always had a resistance to change, but I really want to have a different opinion about it. This resolve really hit home the other night in yoga, when Sharon made the point that when things stop changing, that means life has stopped.

I’d never thought of it like that, but the more I take that in, the more I realize it’s true. Change will never stop until it’s the end of time, until life is over. And even though change is often seen with negativity, it can actually be a good thing. My life has changed so much in the last year, but mostly for the better. I feel like I’m in a much better place, mentally and physically, than I was just a year ago. I feel better about myself and my future. And even though it’s still uncertain, I’m not so much worried about it. Now that I’ve learned to accept change as the inevitability of life, I’m able to really appreciate things as they happen. As much as I’d like things to stay the same sometimes, and for certain events to never end, I have to appreciate the fact that they happened at all, and that I was there to witness it. Just slightly different choices could have taken me down different paths, and who knows if I would have showed up for what has happened so far.

From now on, I’m welcoming change. I’m not going to resist it so much. I’m going to appreciate that changes mean my life is being lived, and that it’s not over yet. And even though things don’t always turn out the way we want, there’s always the chance to change them again. Nothing is permanent. Except change. It’s the one thing that’s here to stay. So starting now, I’m fully embracing change. It means my life is moving forward, evolving, lived. Parts of it are over and can never come back, but there are many things to come. And for the first time in my life, I’m looking forward to changing.


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