Ten Things Tuesday – March 31

31 Mar

There really was nothing like TV when I was a kid. Shows were so much better, and had a lot more substance. For kids, anyway. Cartoons were funny and well-drawn; now they’re really sarcastic and poorly animated in a bland, uncreative style. Everything about Nickelodeon before it was bought out by MTV was great. They had the best game shows and series to watch after school. They had summer marathons with Stick Stickly. And Snick? Come on, you can’t get much better than that, with the big orange couch.

For today, I bring you ten old-school Nickelodeon shows I wish they would bring back:

1. All That. SNL for kids. We’re talking original cast here. Not that Jamie-Lynn Spears shit. I would love to get my hands on some of that stuff these days. I’m sure it really was as great as I thought it was back then.

2. Doug. The old Doug. Disney thought they could take over this show. Bad idea, friends. Doug really was the man. I’m sure most of us, at some point, have put a belt on our heads, a cape on our shoulders, and worn underwear over our pants to be Quailman.

3. Legends of the Hidden Temple. The greatest game show on earth. Those stupid kids could NEVER put together than damn silver monkey, even though it was only three pieces! I think I could have done a better job running through the temple. I would have been a green monkey, and I would have been awesome. This guy thinks it was pretty great, because he took the time to gather all the info you could possibly want: http://www.geocities.com/nicklegends/

4. Clarissa Explains It All. Melissa Joan Hart pre-Sabrina. She was just so cool, and funky. I never would have gotten away with it, but man, she had style. Her parents were big hippies, her best friend climbed up to her room using a ladder at the window, and she had a pet alligator named Elvis. So cool.

5. Kenan and Kel. They were so funny. And Kenan is really on SNL now! I love orange soda, too.

6. Hey! Arnold. I always kind of wanted these kids to be real. There was just something so suave about Arnold, even though he was sort of a goody-goody. He was still a great kid.

7. Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? OK, not technically a Nick show, but still just as kick-ass. Maybe this is why I’m very good at geography.

8. Salute Your Shorts. “It makes me wanna fart!” “It’s ‘I hope we never part!’ Now get it right or pay the price!”

9. The Secret World of Alex Mack. She turned into a big puddle of goop and had other weird powers, and somehow managed to hide that from her family.

10. As Told By Ginger. One of the later shows that I really liked. Ginger was so fun, in her infinite quest for popularity. But not in the obnoxious 80s teen movie way. Ginger was cool.

There are many more, but these were the ones that I really loved the most. Seriously, if they put all these shows on one channel, all day (and not just the game shows like Nick GAS), I would do nothing but watch it. There wouldn’t be any reason to watch anything else on TV. Just Nick shows from the 90s. It was the greatest era known to television. It completely defines my childhood, and I wish to have it back more than anything.


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