26 Dec

As we have established in the past, my grandmother is stuck in the 1950s. She’s pretty much been the “model” housewife her entire life, so she has very old-fashioned views on everything. This goes against a lot of the post-feminist teachings I have learned in the modern education system. I’ve grown up in a world that has always told me I could be president if I wanted to. She did not. We are very different.

The other day, she said something that kind of irritated me a little bit when it really shouldn’t have. I had gone to have dinner with my friend Alli, whose wedding I was in this past summer. My mom and grandmother were asking me about her and what her holiday plans were. My grandmother was all, Oh how exciting! Their first holidays together as man and wife.

Man and wife. Not husband and wife. As though being a wife doesn’t make you a woman anymore. And like being married truly makes you a Man. This really shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did. A lot. I don’t think it’s fair to say “man and wife,” even though it’s technically correct. I think it’s sexist, to point out the “inferior” position of the wife next to her man. I would much rather be referred to as “husband and wife,” as equal partners in a relationship. I think the days are  gone when women are supposed to be submissive to men; I’m sure as hell not going to do that when I get married. And I’m pretty sure I’ll be infuriated if anyone tries to refer to us as “man and wife.”

I cringe just thinking about it.


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