Yes, I’m Going to Hell

10 Jul

Do you know why Moulin Rouge is such a great movie? I’ve figured it out: midgets. This movie is absolutely overflowing with midgets. And as we all know, we can’t have too many of them in life. I swear, if you were playing a Moulin Rouge drinking game, you could get drunk just off the shots you would take every time you saw a midget. Or that matter, any of these other times. Or maybe just a sip. I’m pretty sure you would get alcohol poisoning before the movie was over…..

Every time Christian says the word “love”
Every time you see lace panties
Every time Toulouse pronounces his “l’s” like “w’s”
Every time there is a modern song spoofed or referenced (especially David Bowie…..)
Every time the Duke looks like a rat
Every time you hear a fake orgasm (especially from Satine)
Every time there’s a cracked-out absinthe hallucination
Every time the narcoleptic Argentinean passes out
Every time someone talks about Bohemian ideals
Every time the moon sings
Every time you see dancing waiters…..well, this one’s really true for all musicals……..

So yeah, the swarm of midgets is probably the greatest thing about Moulin Rouge, followed by the above list. Man I love that movie. Come to think of it, that entire list above already sounds like one big acid trip….

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